magnify your essence

"journey to discovering the true you"


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Reflection of ME

When you look in the mirror whose reflection, do you see? This should be an obvious question right? Well, not exactly. There are times when the image that is staring back at you is not even you. On the other hand, your mirrored image is so unrecognizable it is almost an imageless image with no reflection at all. I know I am not the only one who can relate to this. The reason why you no longer see your reflection is that at some point you have become blind to your reality. Something significant going on in your life is probably the reason for your distorted image. Well, I definitely know that I have been visually impaired a time or two before. I definitely know what it is like when you look towards someone else to help you see your own reflection. Nevertheless, we all know how that turns out. It does not; it becomes shattered because it is not your truth.

The only reflection that you should clearly see is of you. You should see the GOD in you. The one that created you with a divine purpose. That is the only reflection that should be starring back at you. I never really thought about this until I took some me time and went to a conference in Maryland called God’s Confident Women Conference. It was so good to be on the receiving end instead of the giving end for a change. The theme for the conference was Mirror-Mirror. The intentional design for this retreat like women’s conference was to have you take a real good look at yourself in the areas of Fulfillment, Family, Forgiveness, Faithfulness, and Finances. What a great five-fold way to dive into some honest, thought provoking, introspection about self.

This was the time that I needed at that moment to take a real good look at myself. Because at that time my own reflection was blurred. We all have moments even me. However, I have learned that it is ok to have my moment just not to allow my moment to have me. During those times, I will admit it takes a while to recognize the person staring back at me in the mirror. However, eventually I can clearly see the beautiful reflection of me. One that is amazing on purpose, one that is resilient, one that is courageous, one that is a conqueror, one that is a beacon, one that has love for others including herself, one who is magnified in everything that she does, and one who even has fabulous flaws. Yes, I have flaws so why not make them fabulous.

I am sharing this with you because I want you to see the beauty in YOU just as I see the beauty in ME. It is important to understand and know thyself by knowing the person that you see in the mirror. Because, the reflection of the person you see definitely is not defined by someone or something else unless you let it. You have to see the person that GOD has created you to be. Someone in His own image. One who is wonderfully and beautifully made!!! Knowing this, I hope you can learn to love and smile at the reflection of YOU. Because, I know that I can truly say that I love and appreciate the reflection of ME!!!!


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Fragile, Handle with Care

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Fragile, Handle with Care

Lately, I have been thinking about how one can be strong yet fragile. I wanted to understand and shed light on the beauty of both. Let’s take a look at the definition of fragile according to dictionary.com which states:

fragile – adj

1 – Easily broken, shattered or damaged, delicate, brittle, frail

2 – Vulnerability delicate as in appearance

So based upon the definition, something that is fragile is easily damaged.

After breaking many objects in my lifetime I can say that once an item has been broken it can be put back together by gathering all the shattered pieces. However, there will always be a possibility that it can be broken once again. Our lives are no different from a broken vase. We can be put back together but at any time we can be re-broken. On the vase you can use glue, and tape etc. For ourselves, there are many bonds to use to restore us back to new such as prayer, family, friends, faith, and time, etc. Although, these bonding agents make you strong and possibly sturdier than before there will always be a weakest point. This is the point that when under pressure will most certainly break once again.

Keep in mind that once something is broken it is even more fragile than it was before. This is especially true for people who have endured some sort of trauma in their lives such as domestic violence, sexual child abuse and / or sexual assault. The damage has already been done. The pieces of their lives has been broken and putting themselves back together takes lots of time and a tremendous amount of patience. Sometimes you’ll discover that there may been missing pieces or that the pieces may not even fit back together properly. Even if every single piece was put back and seemed back to normal, you must always be handled with care. Just like that broken vase that was glued back together. You will be extra careful with it because it was once broken.

How do I know this because not just because I broke a vase but because I was once broken.  Although,  I have been able to gradually put my pieces back together there are pieces that are missing and some that don’t fit back as they did before. In addition, there is always the chance that I can be broken once again.  The truth of the matter is that even though I am strong I am also delicate. Just like that vase there is beauty in my broken pieces.

Broken doesn’t always have to mean damaged. When something breaks we have the tendency to want to either throw it away or save it. If we choose the latter we wrap it and pack it up to protect it from being broken once more. But when you do that we miss out on the new intrinsic beauty it now has cracks and all.  Remember that light can only shine through the cracks. So if you are like me be amazing in your brokenness as your beauty is far more than what anyone else can see. Don’t hide it or protect it let your light shine through all of your unique pieces. And, if you know someone who is like me and has been broken remember they are just like that precious vase, fragile yet strong. Enjoy how beautiful they truly are and always handle with care.

 


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Life Lessons – 3 Fold

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Here we are in the year 2018. Would you believe it? Seems like it was just Y2K the beginning of the millennium. Time sure does fly when you are having fun; it goes fast and waits for no one. Just think, how many New Year resolutions did we make since then? How many did we actually accomplish or fulfill? How many dreams have you had since then? How many places have you wanted to see since then? I bet tons. In addition, I also bet than we did not even scratch the surface on our infamous to do wish list. Well, I know that something’s may be impossible to accomplish but then again maybe not. We are in control of more things than we think. Remember the saying your mother used to tell you when you were younger. You can do anything you want as long as you put your mind to it.

How true is that take for instance in 2016, I decided to finish and release my book in 2017. Guess what I did just that and some. I ended up releasing a total of three books one that I am the sole author and two others that I co-authored. Wow how unexpected was that. A true bonus nonetheless. Sometimes our outcome can be greater than what we expected. So, all we have to do is put our mind to it and make it happen. The universe will take care of the rest (that is Life Lesson #1).

At this very moment, I am 30,000 feet in the air on my way to Houston. I remember telling someone the other day about my plans to go to TX along with plans I made to travel somewhere every month with my book. Their response was your lucky you have the time to do all that. My response was that it’s not luck but that I made the time for it. You make time for what you want to do and this person responded….you’re right (this is life lesson #2).

I am headed to Houston for a survivor’s conference, since I am a survivor of sexual child abuse, domestic violence, scoliosis and the list goes on. I attend this conference every September. However, this past September it was postponed because Houston was hit by Hurricane Harvey and was one of the worst storms to hit that area in years. The organizer could have still had the conference but it would have been extremely difficult. Luckily, for me the airline gave me a credit to use for another flight.

Therefore, when the conference was rescheduled for January I decided to put it on my calendar and use my credit. Even though I really could have used it when I went to visit family during Thanksgiving holiday. There is a reason the conference did not happen in September. There is a reason it happen in January. It is all about and a part of God’s timing. In life, you have to be open to God’s timing and the reasons things happen the way they do (this is life lesson #3).

In your life what are the lessons you have learned. It’s time to do a review on you life.  Let’s make it a 3-fold type of year by adopting these life lessons. Once you do that, you will have the best 2018 and beyond. Your new beginning has just begun.


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Thank You!!!!!!

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WOW…this day has finally come when I reached 5k views!  I am so grateful to all of you from all around the world who took the time to visit Magnify You Essence. And just think that I was afraid to release this blog at first. Initially, when I did release it was completely anonymous because I didn’t know what people would think, about me, about this blog, about everything I was going through . But God! Overtime, that no longer became an issue as this journey has truly helped me to become free. What was birthed out of my pain to help me has turned into my purpose that now helps others. This is great!!! I do hope that you have been empowered, inspired and magnified along the way just as much as I have!!!!! Many Thanks to You!!!

Peace & Blessings,

xoxo

Carolyn


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Believe in your Dreams

believe-in-your-dreams(photo: thoughtco.com)

Believe in your Dreams

See it, Believe it, Achieve it!!! This mantra has so much power that it can make your dreams your reality. This is something that I not only say, it’s something that I wholeheartedly believe and it’s something that I practice to its fullest extent. Your dreams are snippets of your future destiny. They show you what is possible and what is in store for you. Your wishes become your dreams and your dreams can become your reality. The only thing required is for you to believe. One must move confidently in the directions of their dreams. One must understand that the vision given to you is your divine blueprint. Once you see it and you truly believe it your dreams are within your grasp. Just reach for them, believe in them then watch and admire how your dreams manifest and come true for you.  I reaching for mine….how about you?

 


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The Village

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As I think about my mother on her birthday today, I can’t help but think about her as a single parent raising a daughter to the best of her ability. I wonder who were the members of her village that stepped in to help nuture and guide me. I am so grateful for my mothers village for playing that supportive role in my life. I believe that everyone has a village to tap into. I don’t know if my mother ever realized that she had a village. But, looking back I can see that she did. This is probably why I understand the significance of having one as I fully embrace my village. Earlier this year why being a radio host on Sage Network’s “The Real with Sage Single Moms”. I had to opportunity to contibure to the Network’s blog about what it means to have a village. I want to re-share that post:

Why you need a village, How to build your village and How to nurture it.

By Sage Mentoring Moment Host – Carolyn Wilson

Over the years, I have always had people tell me about what a great job I’m doing with my children especially with my son. Instead of the normal response of thank you, I would just state it was not me but my village. I would get tickled by the amazement rather the confusion on people’s faces as a response to my statement.

Is it true, that I am the mother? Yes! Is it true, that I did not do it all alone? Yes! Is it also true that I allow my children to be exposed to certain environments and opportunities that I alone wouldn’t be able to do? Yes, Yes and Yes! But, truly I contribute it to my village, his village, her village, our village that has made everything possible for us. I like to say our village runs deep because there are so many people that have been so instrumental to us individually and collectively. Their existence has led to my children and my overall growth and our many accomplishments, academically, athletically and personally.

So, why do you need a village? Well, it’s just as that African proverb states “it takes a village to raise a child”. Because a village is there to help guide you in areas as you navigate through unchartered territory.  After all, I don’t believe any of us moms were given a manual when we had our children. Right? If your anything like me, many things were learned were either by observation or mostly by trial and error.

How do build your village? Well, you start with the people closest to you which are members of your family, other members of your village could include those who are around your child the most such as clergy, teachers, counselors, coaches, other parents and neighbors. These are the best people to have in your village as they will bring tons of insight that may be best for your child.

How do you nurture your village? The best way to nurture this extensive village is simply by embracing them. Some villagers are assigned while others you personally seek out. For example, I enrolled my kids in community service type organization to get exposure to giving back. Also, I have my children around other family units so they could see what a thriving two parent household looks like just as a couple of examples of how you seek them out. Either way be open and willing to accept the guidance and direction from those within your village as they are there for your benefit. Of course you use your own discretion about certain suggestions and guidance. But, overall if it adds value to the recipe of success then you add them to the mix.

Just think of your village like you are baking a cake. Keep in mind, a cake can’t be made with just one ingredient alone. Just like a cake, your village is not just one ingredient but a blend of resources that can be mixed and blended together to bake a sweet success for you and your child. Remember it takes a village. So acknowledge them, build them, nurture them, embrace them and your village will most definitely embrace you back.

Carolyn

Wow how true is that last statement that if you embrace your village they will embrace you back. I can say that because the village who is there to help me is also partially the same village that was there to help my mother. Just by knowing this I emabrace them and they embrace me in return. Always remember, you do have a village whenever you think you’ll all alone just know that your not. Look around the village is all around you.

 


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The Letter that Can…

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Taking a look at where you are verses where you’ve been is mind blowing. When you think about all the ill fortunes and mishaps that have occurred it is astonishing that you were able to get through it. It’s amazing to be able to look back and say, “Wow, how did I get through that?” I’m pretty sure that at the time it seemed nearly impossible and no one could have told you differently. How about if you were able to go back and give advice to your younger self during that situation? What would you say?

What would I say to ME…my younger-self during such times of adversity? Well, I would start with telling myself this:

Dear Me,

I want to let you know that no matter how bad things look there is always a brighter side to every situation. As long as I keep GOD first, have faith and believe in the unseen, the impossible will be made possible. I would inform myself to learn to find a balance between what’s in my control opposed to what’s not.

Recognizing the difference makes letting go and moving on that much easier. I would also tell me to believe in myself, embrace my differences and love every aspect of myself, be fearless, have hope and never give up because I can make a difference. Because even after the gloomiest of storms know that I will shine as bright as the brightest star and life will be better and greater than what I has ever known.

With Love,

Me

This letter to me would be very simple yet used as a that can guide me get through tough times as they come up.  If you were given the chance what would you say? What would you tell yourself to make certain you knew everything was going to be alright? What would be your “letter that can” be the best advice you could give to yourself based upon what you know now? Your letter can be so powerful. So, go ahead and take the time to think of about it and just write your younger self a letter.  You owe it you yourself! You’ll be glad that you did.